SelfhelpMagazine

by Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

You say you are not pressured into having sex yet you are afraid to tell the guy you are dating that you would like to discontinue the sexual aspect of your relationship.

This leaves me with the impression that indeed you are feeling pressured; you are afraid that he will stop dating you if you share your feelings with him. If telling him that you are not comfortable having sex with him turns him off, then you might want to question the depth of the commitment and the nature of the relationship.

Many teenage girls believe that they have to participate in sex out of fear of losing their boyfriends. They feel insecure and doubt whether a guy could be interested in them as a person.

They prefer to capitulate on their personal values than run the risk of losing their boyfriend. Dating and sex together become the basis of the relationship for the boy and insecurity becomes the basis for the girl.

About the Author:

Dr. Edward A. Dreyfus is a Clinical Psychologist, Marriage, Family, Child Therapist, and Sex Therapist. Dr. Dreyfus has been providing psychological services in the Los Angeles-Santa Monica area for over 30 years. He offers individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults, divorce mediation, couples counseling, group therapy, and career and vocational counseling and assessment. Dr. Dreyfus can be reached at: (310) 208-5700.