SelfhelpMagazine

by James Lehman, MSW

When kids act out, they aren’t always confrontational. One way children get around the rules of the household is to procrastinate and put parents off until they eventually stop asking kids to help out.

Procrastination as a Disguise for Resistance
While many parents rationalize, “It’s easier if I just do it myself,” what you need to understand is that you are setting your child up to have a false sense of entitlement later on in life, a belief that “the world owes them something.” Here, James Lehman gives parents some effective responses in the face of your child’s passive resistance.

“I’ll do it later.”

Translation: If I put it off long enough, you’ll give up and I won’t have to do it. You’ll probably even do it for me.

Ineffective parenting response: “Ok, but make sure you get it done.”

Effective parenting response: “Well, that’s fine. But you won’t get your allowance until it’s done.” Or, “Well, that’s fine, but you can’t use the phone until it’s done.”

About the author:

James Lehman is a behavioral therapist and the creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents.He has worked with troubled children and teens for three decades. James holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Boston University.
Does Your Child Say This? "I'll do it later." reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents.For more information about this article, visit www.empoweringparents.com.