Self-help Articles

by Patricia Pitta, Ph.D., A.B.P.P.

I can understand that you feel disappointed and possibly angry for the behavior of your cheating spouse. Affairs are usually a sign of a relationship that has been in trouble for a while.

Usually, at least one member of the couple feels non related to, not appreciated and possibly physically and emotionally abandoned. You may not know how to rebuild trust.

Once you have had time to vent your anger and dismay, it is important for you and your husband to take an inventory of your relationship and determine your mutual needs. You can work out how you as individuals, and a couple, can take responsibility to nurture yourselves and each other.

In this way, the relationship can sustain differences. You can work through problems rather than one or both of you repeating the role of a cheating spouse. An affair may leave a couple shaken but they can recover.

About the Author:

Dr. Patricia Pitta is a clinical psychologist practicing in Manhasset, New York, for more than 20 years. She is a Diplomat in Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association and an Approved Supervisor of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Pitta is also the President of the Long Island Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.

She has created a treatment modality that enables the partners to accept responsibility for their parts in relationship problems leading to resolution of issues without getting stuck in blame. She encourages self growth which enhances couple growth and family development.