by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.
I don't think this is bisexuality. I don't really look at men on the street, I look at women. However, these fantasies about men are overwhelming. I am also in my first year of recovery from drug and alcohol abuse. Can you help me be less confused?
It's easy to see why you're confused. It's a natural reaction to your fantasies about men. But let's not start there. Let's start with the fact that you've been abusing drugs and alcohol until fairly recently.
I'm not an expert in treating addictions, but I do know that learning to live without drugs can be pretty confusing. You're probably just starting to learn how emotions and sex feel without drugs and alcohol, just starting to get to know yourself.
I suggest you start by giving yourself permission to be confused. Sometimes it takes a while to figure ourselves out. I also suggest you find a safe place to talk about your feelings and fantasies. That could be with a psychotherapist, in a group, or with friends or a member of the clergy.
There are many people who find themselves sexually attracted to both men and women. Some of them identify with bisexuality. There is a book called Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out that you may find helpful. It's published by Alyson Publications in Boston.
About the Author:
Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D. is an author and psychologist. She has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional audiences, and is the author of the audiotape, NOT HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.
Revised 11/21/08 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
If you are experiancing obsession just
say out loud now Jesus I
believe and I receive you
in my heart and remember God
loves you
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