Are You Happy with Bisexual Dating?

by Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D.

Question: I'm a 27-year-old man and have been in relationships with men before, but right now I'm dating a woman. I'm confused because I'm attracted to both men and women. Is bisexual dating normal? Is it possible it's because I was sexually abused as a child?

People who are attracted to both women and men often identify as bisexual. There's nothing wrong or abnormal about that: some people feel strong attractions for members of one gender, some are attracted primarily or exclusively to men, and others are attracted primarily or exclusively to women.

The claim that being sexually abused as a child determines your sexual orientation is an old myth that's been around for years. So far as I know there is no conclusive evidence to support it.

With bisexual dating, or any dating, what's important is that you treat the people you date with respect and caring. Being a good person is a whole lot more important than how you define your sexual orientation.

About the Author:

Gail S. Bernstein, Ph.D. is an author and psychologist. She has a psychotherapy practice in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Bernstein speaks and writes about gay, lesbian and bisexual people for both general and professional audiences, and is the author of the audiotape, NOT HETEROSEXUAL: An Educational Program About Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People.

Originally published 07/24/98
Revised 11/26/08 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

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