SelfhelpMagazine

by Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D.

It's not at all unusual for young adults to question much of what they have been taught to believe. In many ways, this is a positive step on the road to adulthood and mature spirituality. Before you announce anything, let's consider a few points:

1. What about your religion do you no longer accept? Are there any aspects or beliefs that are still relevant? For example, in parting company with your religion, do you feel that you also no longer believe in God? Or is it specific aspects of your particular religion that no longer are meaningful? Many young adults I know, for example, find that they believe in God but that organized religions do not seem to be speaking to their problems in any relevant manner.
2. What if any kind of spiritual beliefs are you moving towards? A key realization for my daughter on her spiritual journey was the discovery that her spiritual needs were met more through her music than through formal Church.
    
   You may want to find an adult with whom you can discuss such issues. Ideally such person would be someone who can listen to you and give you feedback without judgment.

    

   As far as your wish to not hurt anyone, I imagine you're talking mainly about your parent or parents. The best that you can do is to be honest first of all and to not attack the religious tradition which may still have meaning to them. Emphasize what you're moving towards. And, above all, you may want to remind your parents that your move away from religion does not have to be viewed as a move away from them.

About the Author:

Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.