Self-help Articles

by Reid K. Hester, Ph.D.

As you have a close relationship with her right now you can have an influence on her sobriety. If you only want to be around her then she's sober, tell her so in a positive, caring way.

Spend time together when she's sober and remove yourself when she's not. Her mood difficulties, however, may be a trigger for heavy drinking and she's at risk for returning to it until she learns some additional
strategies for managing her mood.

There is a wealth of information here at the SelfhelpMagazine you and she could use. She might also benefit from a consultation and/or therapy from a professional. Alanon is a 12-step program, like AA, and has free meetings all over the world. Its focus is for friends and loved ones of alcoholics. You may want to go to at least a half dozen meetings and see how much you can learn about how to help your loved ones by loving yourself first.

A colleague of mine, Robert J. "Bob" Meyers, wrote a book for concerned family members such as you. You might consider looking at a chapter 11 in a book by William R. Miller and Nick Heather, "Treating Addictive Behaviors" (second edition) by Plenum (1998).

About the Author:

Reid K. Hester, Ph.D., Director, Research Division, Behavior Therapy Associates, 9426 Indian School Rd NE, Suite 1, Albuquerque, NM 87112. Phone: 505.345.6100.

Dr. Hester is has developed an evidence-based, web application called ModerateDrinking.com to help heavy drinkers be successful in changing their drinking. A video demo of the program is available at www.behaviortherapy.com