Self-help Articles

by Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D.

You forgot to put your child’s lunch in his backpack again.  Not only that, but you need to tell your friend you can’t go out to dinner tonight because you forgot you already made other plans. In addition, it is very difficult to sit still and pay attention in office meetings. You feel like you just need to be doing something – anything – besides sitting at a desk.  You may be one of the approximately 13 million people in the U.S. that have Attention Deficit Disorder.

ADD doesn’t just “show up” when you have a hectic schedule or a bad day – people with ADD have had difficulties with staying organized, working to their potential, and focusing since they were kids. In fact, if you are able to locate your old report cards, you may find your teachers made comments such as these:

• Doesn’t work to potential
• Doesn’t stay in seat
• Runs in classroom and hallways
• Doesn’t keep hands to self
• Talks out of turn
• Doesn’t finish assignments

It used to be thought that you “grew out of” ADD.  However, research suggests that most children with ADD grow up to be adults with ADD.   In addition, ADD is a continued pattern of behavior that causes impairment in your day-to-day living. You may have noticed ADD-related problems at your job:

• Difficulty showing up on time
• Can’t sit still during meetings
• Can’t complete long, detailed assignments
• Can’t get back on track if someone interrupts you
• You change jobs frequently due to boredom or because you were fired

And ADD doesn’t just affect your job – it can cause difficulties at home and with your social life.

You may find at home:

• You and your partner argue about the level of messiness in your home
• You have issues with impulsive spending
• You don’t want to have people over to your house because of the amount of clutter
• You don’t follow through or forget to do daily household tasks, such as loading/unloading the dishwasher and vacuuming
• You can never find things at home, so you just buy more of them

You may have noticed socially:

• You often interrupt others
• You say inappropriate things because you don’t think as much as other people do before you speak
• Your friends tell you that you are talking louder than other people
• You get more “wound up” than other people and can’t calm down
• You have trouble holding on to friendships because you don’t show up on time to events and forget to call or email people back

Luckily, there is treatment available for ADD.  Medication, counseling, and coaching are some of the options available to you.  It is recommended that you see an ADD specialist (such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor) so you can get a thorough evaluation.

Here are some suggestions for making tasks easier for you.

• When starting a large project, first break it down into smaller parts or goals.  If this is a challenge for you, ask for help from a friend or family member.
• Take frequent breaks while you are working.   Work for 30 minutes at a time, then take a 15 minute break.  This gives your brain time to rest!
• When you are decluttering a room, get assistance from a friend with good organizational skills or a professional organizer.
• Delegate challenging tasks.  Consider hiring someone on a weekly basis to help you clean your home.  You may wonder if you will be able to afford a hiring people to help you, but you will find you actually save money in the long run.
• In your family room, have a large basket or ottoman with a lid.  If someone comes over on short notice, take the clutter that’s lying around and toss it in the lidded container.
• Learn to say no.  You may find that you wind up having much more on your schedule than you anticipated.  Pick the activities and roles you enjoy and benefit from the most, and decline the rest.

As you become more aware of your challenges, remember there is help available for ADD, and you are not alone.  Every step, no matter how small, is a step towards your improved well-being.

About the Author:

Dr. Stephanie Sarkis is the author of four books: 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD (2006); Making the Grade with ADD (2008); ADD and Your Money (2009); and Adult ADD: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed (2011).  Dr. Sarkis is a National Certified Counselor (NCC) and Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) based in Boca Raton, Florida.  Her website is www.stephaniesarkis.com.