SelfhelpMagazine

by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

Can you share any ideas or resources you may have that support the idea that today's abused children do not have to become the villains of tomorrow.

Answer

The theme that echoes throughout child abuse literature is "Breaking the Cycle." The cycle is a description of violence, abuse and neglect that passes from one generation to the next. Such a pattern can be broken with proper intervention. Much research has been done identifying effective interventions and outcomes. The American Humane Association has extensive resources available for national use. They can be reached @ 1-800-227-4645.

Another perspective on "Breaking the Cycle" might be the recognition that people have enormous resiliency and natural capacity for healing and growing. This can fuel hope in people for a successful future. It can provide the strength necessary for people to overcome despair. Any debate should include a recognition of the impact of buffering relationships and how they nurture abused children. When their resilience is nurtured, people develop positive self images. This is what helps them regain control and become well-adjusted adults.

These thoughts can be further pursued in:

The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity, by S.Wolin and S.Wolin (New York, NY: Villard Books, 1993):5. Victim To Victimizer: Rethinking Victim Treatment, by G.Ryan in Journal Of Interpersonal Violence

A poem written by Thomas Baker, Ph.D. is worthy of quoting:

Two Children
Same family,
Same neighborhood,
Same school,
Same stress,

Same neglect,
Same abuse,
Sullen, withdrawn,
One shrinks,
The other grows,
Warm, popular.
One finds nourishment, the other hardens.

What is the difference?

One found a caring adult,
The other did not,
One was encouraged,
The other was not,
One was expected to succeed,
The other was assumed to fail.
One pops back, one stays down.
Both are children.
Both are the future.